Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
