But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
