question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
