Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize