I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I think my vagina is haunted
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
