she woke up with a sticky ear
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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