what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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