you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
