That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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