Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he was CRYING into my vagina
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
