Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
