I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize