I wannas sexs uuuuu
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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