she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
