White coat. Heels.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
