im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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