My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize