She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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