She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
