NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
