: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
