I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
