Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
