You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize