you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
