Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
