Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
