I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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