I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
