There is no way he is gay with that hair.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize