the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize