areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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