Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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