vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
