no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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