I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
