Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Buhtt sex?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
