I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
