he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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