All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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