that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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