Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize