the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
