return my video game
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
