the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
