I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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