Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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