curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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