yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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