can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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