They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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