Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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