zippers are such a cool invention
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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