Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
