is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
