I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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