We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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