My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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