Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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