If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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