I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
